Thursday, October 30- Tom Brady

          It's nice being the greatest quarterback of all time. I would never admit in public that I think so, Belichick would kill me, but it's very true. Everyday, I see my beautiful super-model wife, Giselle Bundchen, and I give her a kiss. I play with one of the best teams in the league and the greatest coach of all time. I have money, status, and skill. The only problem in my life is all these media morons who insist Peyton Manning is better. Oh, you mean the greatest playoff choker of all time who holds a record amount of playoff losses and one-&-done's? Of course, he must be better than a three time super-bowl champion, two time super-bowl MVP. Whatever, I'll kick his @$$ next week and if/when we meet in the playoffs. His nightmare has returned. A number 24 shut-down corner in a Patriots uniform. No longer Ty Law, but Darrelle Revis, the island himself. Enough about that, though. As I was saying I have a nice life, my family is great, my sister just had a baby, and everything is going well. It's nice to be the most beloved man in Massachusetts, in all of New England in fact. My name will live on in history as much if not more so than the great Joe Montana. That poser, Manning, can have all the regular season records he wants, not that i don't have a few of my own. Greatest touchdown to interception ratio of all time, greatest winning percentage of all time, most games with at least 4 touchdowns, 350 yards, and no int's. Life is good, I got rings and stats, something most can't claim to have. I have the hottest wife in the world, and I got millions of dollars. Things couldn't be better, and yet they're still trending upwards.

  

Tuesday, October 28- Mixed Bag

       Lights flash as all around there are screaming children, laughing teenagers, and smiling adults all enjoying themselves as they bounce around in a room full of trampolines. This is the new sweeping sensation known as Jump Jam, a "trampoline park" which, as one could probably guess, is just a room full of trampolines. People are crossing from trampoline to trampoline, traversing the room via jump. All of a sudden, the screaming stops, the room goes dead silent, and faces once red with exertion and joy turn pale with fright after witnessing the grotesque spectacle before them. A rotting, twisted figure that vaguely resembles former President John F. Kennedy. The back of this horrifying specter's head is almost all gone, with a few remnants of brain peaking through.
         The man, now zombie, that was John Kennedy says calmly, but sluggishly, as one would expect from a man missing most of his brain  "My sewage appears to be backed up. Does anyone know where I can reach a plumber?" The screams start up again, this time by everyone; this time in horror. Kennedy looks around, confused and helpless as the mass runs out of the building terrified, all doing their best to avoid him. One poor soul falls to the floor beside him. Kennedy sees the onrushing crowd close to trampling the man and reaches out to help him up, but the fool recoils in disgust, and is stomped flat by the panicked, stampeding herd which has become no better than cattle.
        When the room clears Kennedy looks around, then down at the man who was battered, miraculously still clinging to life. He holds up his cell phone towards the former President and says,
        "Plumber..." weakly before collapsing into the sweet release of death. Kennedy picks up the phone, and sees in the contacts an establishment called Joe's Plumbing Services. Unable to work the phone, he tries to wake the dead man, but obviously is unsuccessful. In desperation he taps the phone where it mentions the plumbing service and Voila! the phone begins to dial, then ring. He holds it up to his misshapen ear and says,
         "Hello? Yes, I would like to acquire your services if I may. Yes the address is 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. The big white one. No this isn't a prank. My name? John Kennedy-" He was cut off by the harsh click of whom he assumed must be Joe hanging up. He realized no one would help him and decided he'd have to do the work himself. His stomach began to growl and he realized how hungry he was, so he knelt down and began to devour the helpful dead man's brains ravenously.

Monday, October 27 - Fairy Tale Name Poem

R         Recalcitrant

U          Ulterior

M         Macabre

P          Proud

E          Eccentric

L          Lethal

S          Sarcastic

T         Talented

I           Intelligent

L          Lying

T         Twisted

S          Sneaky

K         Kleptomaniacal

I           Immoral

N          Nonchalant

Friday, October- X Marks the Spot

          Captain "Bloody" Alexander, Samuel Drake, and myself step foot on the beach of this plush, jungle island. The total silence is eerie. No wind stirs through the leaves of the exotic trees, no animals cry out in their native tongues. Not a rustle in the bushes or a whisper in the sand, only the sound of our boots pounding up the incline of the sandy beach. Drake becomes nervous and makes it known.
            "Captain, this don't feel right. This island be cursed, I warrant."
            "Ever the superstitious fool, you are Samuel. There is no curse, only treasure here. Is that not enough to motivate you?" Said the captain coldly.
           "Of course, Captain," said Sam Drake.
           I keep my thoughts to myself. I'm not one to believe in curses, but neither am I so foolish to believe that there are not things beyond our knowledge.As the immortal Shakespeare would say, "There are more things in heaven and Earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy." We continue on, according to the rather vague instruction given on the map. The jungle remains still, and Drake grows ever more nervous. Eventually he's shaking and sweating so badly that he breaks.
          "I can't take it no more Cap'n!" He says, "Life ain't allowed here!" and he runs back the way we came. Captain "Bloody" Alexander draws his flintlock pistol and fires directly into the back of poor Samuel.
           The Captain only utters a single word, "Fool."
            I decide to speak up. "Captain," I say.
           "What? Do you have a problem with how I handle deserters?" growls Captain Alexander.
           "No, but you must admit that it was a little hasty, considering the shortage of crew-members we are currently experiencing."
           "You're probably right. Too late now though, eh?" The Captain chuckled. We continue onward and eventually reach the spot which was marked with an "X" on the map. We begin to dig, and don't even reach three feet deep before we strike something, which we can only assume is the treasure.
         "Terrible job of burying their life's savings." I say
         "Lucky for us," says "Bloody" Alexander. We pull it up and crack open the lock with a pick-ax. There's a rush of warm air as we open the chest and we peer inside. It was empty.
        "What the hell?" I say, "Do you think someone got to it before us?" I ask.
         "Or the damn map is worthless. Either way, We're screwed." He stews for a moment before exclaiming, "Dammit!"
That's when i begin to notice something. I can't place is at first, then I realize what it is. The jungle sounds like a jungle. Monkeys screeching out warning calls, birds cawing, cooing, and chirping, Rustling leaves and bushes. The jungle had it's voice back. Captain "Bloody" Alexander and I trek back towards the ship. I'm not even sure if he notices the noises, or if he even cares, and with the mood he's in I won't bring it up. I do, however, believe we found a treasure of a certain kind in that chest. Samuel was right. The island was cursed, it's vibrancy stolen. When we opened that chest, we returned it to its former glory. I'm sure we pissed off some god in the process, but when I listen to the jungle, I feel its almost worth it.

Tuesday, October 21- Deja Vu

           Caroline sat in the bus terminal in St. Louis awaiting her next ride. She was on her way to Los Angeles for a well deserved vacation. While she was sitting there, she noticed an old man looking at her from across the room in another chair. She was mildly frightened at first, but she felt as if she had seen him before. She offered a hesitant wave, in case this was true, and he looked away hurriedly. She was rather confused. The whole situation was was becoming eerily familiar, she had a vague impression it had all happened before: the old man, his stare, her wave, the quickly averted eyes. She felt as if she were reliving some past moment, yet she had no clear memory of such a time,. Even the setting seemed familiar, as if she were recalling some long forgotten dream. The old man then got up and walked out of the terminal. She decided to move from her seat to one where he wouldn't see her. As she was doing so, she thought she caught a flicker of movement out of the corner of her eye. She quickly looked, but there was nothing. She continued, all the way to the end of the terminal, and sat down, a very safe distance away in her estimation. The next few moments happened so suddenly she wasn't even aware of what was happening until it was too late. She felt hands wrap around her throat from behind, and a croaky voice whispered in her ear very vulgar things not worth repeating. As she faded into the darkness, she recalled a dream...
          Caroline woke up screaming. Then glanced about the Greyhound bus, abashed. Several people were staring, one asked if she was alright. She assured him she was, that it was just a bad dream. She couldn't even remember what she had dreamt. She suddenly recalled where she was going and beamed. Los Angeles was going to be fantastic. They arrived at the terminal in St. Louis, where she took a seat awaiting the next bus. Then she saw an old man looking her way.

Wednesday, October 16- Rain

Fall Rain

          Unexpectedly, a sudden spike of cold erupts on the surface of your skin, so cold it almost burns. You know what this is, having been exposed to this sensation for years. It's the beginning of a rainstorm. With no shelter around, and having forgotten a jacket or umbrella, you are at the mercy of the weather for however long nature decides. The wind picks up, buffeting your face and arms, chilling your hands to a point just before numbness. The rain no longer sprinkles, but become a steady pour of heavy orbs of water. The sound is like an army approaching on horse-back, and the sky lights up with ominous lightning. Though you should expect it, you jump at the boom of the thunder, laughing viciously at your plight. The overcast sky offers no gleam of sunshine, no hope that this misery inducing nightmare will end soon. You continue pressing onward, through the wind which threatens to throw you backwards like a rag-doll, through the rain which numbs your hands, arms, and face, through the storm, for no reason except that you have no choice. The wind blasts at one-hundred miles an hour, and the rain spitefully stings your face like an infinite swarm of bees. This fall rain, a precursor to the cruel winter storm, does everything in its power to break you, and maybe it will. 

   

Wednesday, October 15- I Remember When...

I remember when I lost hope

I remember when cynicism took hold

I remember when humanity disgusted me

I remember when I grew jaded and cold

I remember realizing the world was close to dead

I remember running to it full speed ahead

I remember going mad, living inside my own head

I remember when you refused to see the truth

I remember when you created more delusions

I remember when they scrubbed the minds of all the youth

I remember when you lost your chance for absolution

I remember a city on fire

I remember a situation most dire

I remember laughing, as the world went to its pyre

I remember when I gave in to fate

I remember when the mass called for forgiveness

I remember when I told you that it's too late

I remember when you traded depth for glibness

 I remember nothing

 I remember blanks
I remember void

I remember hate

Friday, October 10- Pet Peeves

      Idiots are absolutely the most annoying, frustrating thing on the planet. Not only do they have the most un-informed opinions, they voice them loudly enough to force others to concede to their moronic ideals. They refuse to learn, they refuse to accept reality, preferring their illusions. They not only complain about being victimized, they insist on it just so they can complain, again and again, constantly attempting to garner pity from those with greater resources. The worst part of all though is the encouragement they receive from modern society. They are not simply tolerated, but encouraged. Mediocrity is championed, and intelligence ignored so that the common moron may feel justified in their stupidity. They are told to be themselves, that nothing is wrong with them, it's everyone else who has the problem, that they never need to change. Why would one wish to maintain inferiority of any kind? Why would you be yourself, if you could better yourself? It's not impossible, but the idiot is a common acceptance, and when that happens why would they even bother going through the difficult process of true change?  Ridicule is a motivating factor that modern society has attempted to root out at every level, because we value worthless peoples self-worth more than we value the good of society as a whole. We are constantly concerned about the steep decline in the intelligence level of the United States population, yet if these basic flaws society encourages are not put in a different light, what makes you think it would be any different? The decline will continue, eventually someone just intelligent enough will convince the remaining idiots that have become the majority that the world will be better off under his rule, just as in fascist Italy, and Nazi Germany, Then democracy will have finished its slow agonizing death in the United States that has already begun. The world will crumble under a society like that, and all because idiots were allowed to run rampant throughout the nation with no discouragement of their idiocy. It has become a struggle for those who still maintain some kind of intelligence to attempt to educate the idiot, only to be shouted at, belittled, and battered for having a superior skill that, as long as they maintain their stubborn ignorance, they could only dream of attaining. This problem is more than annoying, more than a pet peeve, it is a problem that will crack the already crumbling foundations of society to they point of utter destruction.  Valuing emotion over logic, and self over the whole, this kind of person will be the end of the world.

Tuesday, October 7- The Flip Side

The Victim

How did I get in this situation

goddamned pride of a pig in blue

won't cow down, cold steel clamps on

If you don't feel fear, they want to put it in you

Beaten, bloody and bruised

threatened and abused

Authority became brutality once more

throwback to the days of yore

Nothing can numb my hate

I'll be the instrument of your fate

Regret will surely come to you

when my blade comes to run you through

fear me now, dear pig in blue

there are frightful days ahead of you

The Pig

Oink! Oink! Aren't I positively daunting?

In your eyes no tremor, no quake

Insecurity comes haunting

Whats your problem? Don't you  fear the blue?

What could possibly shake you?

Remind me of my duty, how dare thee?

This foolish (Daring) child is starting to scare me

Are you insane? Don't you know who I am?

I'll clamp you and jail you, cuz I'm a ham

Never again will you look at me, hateful

You better be fucking grateful

I'm doing you a service, forcing you into my will

next time you see me, fell the fear that I instill

Oink! Oink! 

The Subconscious Truth Behind the Pig

( He's desperate, he's pleading, like a child throwing a tantrum,

He's pathetic, he's reeling, insecure and haunted by past phantoms.

His stature and his lesser size (wink, wink) left him overcompensating

Now he's a bastard and he really tries to make everyone fear and hate him.)

Monday, October 6- Persona Poem

Dear Saucy Boss from Hell

The break in apathy

When I take life from she

The whore who rejected me

All the same one

they all run

Don't scream, it's all a game

I silence your squealing before you knew I came

Unfortunately

Red ink was unavailable to me

Her blood will do

Did you get the kidney I sent you?

Delicious indeed

fried up and dipped in puree

Forgive me for not fulfilling my promise

the pieces were tricky to slice off without solace 

You shouldn't rush so, inspector dear

How do expect me to get you that bit of ear?

My knife is sharp, eager, and calling to me

My next victim will have your name carved in, you'll see.

Goodbye dear boss, hell awaits her

So does my kitchen, where she'll be sauced and cured

Good hunting, sir! 

Thursday, October 2- The Frog Prince

        A lonely princess, Alice, was sitting in her room, thinking about her lover, a prince from nearby, her cousin as it happened. Must keep those royal bloodlines pure, after all. She was imagining what his lips felt like when he kissed her, when she heard a knocking on her window. She went to open her window and when she did she saw the very person she had just been thinking about.
        "Deryk! I was just thinking about you!" she exclaimed, "How did you get up to my window?"
        " The staircase outside helped." said Deryk, her cousin-lover.
        "Come in, please," said Alice eagerly. Deryk climbed into her room, nearly tripping on the window pane. At that moment a frog jumped out of his pocket and onto Alice's head. She screamed and threw it against the wall, where it splattered into pieces. "Ew," she said in disgust.
       At that moment her father, the king burst into the room, "Are you alright? I heard a scream." Then he saw Prince Deryk standing much closer to his daughter than he cared for him to. It didn't help that he had yet to meet his own nephew.  "Who is this? What is he doing in your room?" he growled in an accusatory tone.
      "Uh, he.." stammered Princess Alice, her eye glancing about furiously searching for any excuse, when she saw the remains of the frog. She then went into a fantastical tale of a prince under a curse, who was to remain a frog until he found his true love, and how she was the one he was waiting for, "... and when I kissed him, he burst out of the frog leaving its pieces all over the floor there, and that's when you came in," she finished.
The king was dubious, but there was the frog, and there was the prince, and he couldn't dispute the proof of his eyes. The years of royal incest had left him rather slow, so he was unable to come up with the truth, so he simply agreed, and went to arrange their wedding as soon as possible.
       "Wait, what?" said Deryk, who was not nearly as enthusiastic about the wedding as Alice and her father.
       "Don't you want to get married?" asked Alice, with a slight hint of malice in her voice.
        Deryk had to choose a course of action quickly, as he stammered, searching for a response, the perfect solution crept into his brain. That was when he dove out the window, completely missing the staircase below, and hitting the ground head-first. He cracked open his skull, blood and brain leaking out, and broke his neck as well, with several vertebrae bulging beneath the elastic surface of his skin.
                                                         
                                                        The End.

Wednesday, October 1- Fairy Tale Characters

Shadows gather, flames roar and grow

Dark omens of the end

The moon grows red, and blood flows

Our death has come

The Dark One has come
Vines as tall as castles, thorns jutting out
eager to draw blood
Horns silhouetted in smoke
Preparing a flaming flood
Demise has come
The dragon has come